Just The Two Of Us

‘Elopement, colloquially speaking, is often used to refer to a marriage conducted in sudden and secretive fashion, usually involving a hurried flight away from one's place of residence together with one's beloved with the intention of getting married.’

Elopement’s, for me, are the ultimate romantic move - taking away (almost) all frills and lace and extras, and making your marriage all about the only people who matter in that moment, and that’s one other. However, one of my earliest memories was my Mother turning to me during a dramatic eloping in Neighbours - a show we religiously watched together during my teen years - and whispering, ‘If you ever get married without telling me first, I will be heartbroken.’ WHEW TALK ABOUT THE GUILT TRIP. But ultimately, its your day, and you should do it your way.

Let’s face it, a big wedding isn’t for everyone. Whether the idea of bringing some families together causes more pain than joy, whether you hate being the centre of attention, whether it’s just not your vibe, or you can’t afford it or whether it was taken out of your hands. Especially in 2020, we’ve seen how weddings can be quickly cancelled and postponed indefinitely. It’s been painful for many, but also it’s been a reassuring and awakening moment of clarity - forget the party, forget the cake, forget the 12-piece band, I love you, you love me, and I don’t wanna wait anymore, I want to be married. I think if my mum was around to see what was happening in the world, I think she would ultimately just want me to be the happiest I could be, and if I was to call her to say I had eloped, she would forget the sadness of missing out, and focus on what’s important - loving me.

Here are some other tips on how to plan your Elopement, but always remember rule No.1 - It’s YOUR day, do it YOUR way.

JUST BECAUSE IT’S ABOUT YOU TWO, DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN
I know that elopements can be a quick decision, but to ease stress on yourself, hire a local wedding planner to take all the details and all the stress off your hands so you can focus on you and your loved one. That planner might also know somewhere you haven’t heard of to really bring your dreams come to life. Hiring a photographer or videographer will also make the day memorable for those who aren’t there like your family and friends, whilst also being your support, friend and hype team on the day!

DON’T FORGET THE LEGAL STUFF
Before you run off into the sunset with your partner, remember you’ve got to check everything off the list to avoid disappointment and some heartache later down the line. Different countries have different rules - have you checked whether you need both an officiant and a witness? Have you checked the marriage venue rules (ie. in the UK you have to be married under a fixed structure that is licensed)? Have you checked local registry and residency rules? If you’re getting married abroad, make sure you’re familiar with their rules too, as they’ll probably differ to your home’s guidelines.

MONEY MONEY MONEY
Be sure to check with suppliers whether their rates vary for smaller weddings, because some will do a reduced rate for a few hours hire as opposed to a full day. Forgetting this could make your day end up costing a similar price to a wedding and have you have nothing to lose by floating the question past your venue, photographer etc. Make sure to sit down with your partner and discuss where and what you imagine this day to look like, and from that work out the areas you’d collectively like to spend your budget on.

HAVE A REVEAL PLAN
Whether it’s through a newspaper announcement (hello the cutest of English traditions), through handwritten cards with photos, through an Instagram post or with a huge party, make sure you’ve discussed how you’re going to break the great news to the world. Your family and closest friends might be incredibly offended if they hear the news through the grapevine, so maybe telling them in person and individually will help them feel included and important to you. You don’t need to explain yourselves, but having a script handy might help you feel a boost in confidence as you tell your loved ones the exciting surprise.

MAKE IT SPECIAL
Just because it’s not going to be a 200 guest extravaganza doesn’t mean it can’t be special. Make it memorable for you both - whether it’s writing personal vows, starting your day off with an amazing brunch, finishing it off in your favourite restaurant, donned to the nines, or splashing out on transport that’s a little different - you can make it incredibly special. You’re doing this for you two, so why not take the opportunity to TREAT YO’SELF.

DON’T FEEL GUILTY AND DEFINITELY DON’T FEEL BAD
Remember, no matter what anyone else says, you don’t have to feel bad about choosing to do your wedding the way the make sense and is perfect for you. No, it might not meet the expectations of those around you, and some might be disappointed or initially upset, but once they’ve moved on from the shock, the chances are they will be nothing but overjoyed and excited for you both. And if they aren’t, don’t hold it against them, just allow them the space to come to terms with your decision, and I promise they’ll come around.

REMEMBER WHY YOU’RE ELOPING AND WHAT’S IMPORTANT
At the end of the day, when all is said and done, remember the reason you wanted to elope, stand by it, and remember what’s really important. It’s you, and your loved one. When all else fades away, you’re left with what matters, and that’s your love for each other. Enjoy your day however you decide to do it, and enjoy your future together as Mr & Mrs!